Feeling empty

Feeling so empty. Cannot think of anything yet for now. Apa yang terjadi ni?!?!?!?!
Cousins coming back tomorrow and I'm going to work pretty soon. So excited yet nervous.
Back hometown is very peaceful but very very boring. Nothing to do here. Really miss my friends at KL. Wanted to go out with them but time just don't let me do so. Maybe after 3 months =(

Merdeka soon. Going to celebrate with my family. Nothing else I can write now. Feel really blank and empty. =(

sleepless night. :(

Confusing

Currently I felt really confuse. I'm happy with my result which i passed all the subjects. I felt confuse because of the internship stuff. I don't know whether I can do it or not. I spend a lot of money on buying clothes and I just get scolded by my mum because I bought a new converse sneaker. =(

I'm so freaking confuse now! I'm so bad temper and I admit I'm those kind of really get piss off in small matter. Trying to change, give me time and I'll prove it.


" Wondering around is not the solution"

Addicted to blogging xD

currently I'm addicted to blogging. I also don't know why. Maybe by blogging I can improve my grammar. But still there are a lot of grammar mistake in my blog. So don't mind if I use wrong language/ grammar. No one is perfect tho :)

I have been searching information to improve my speaking language on English. So I can speak English fluently. Its important for me to start now so I can speak English fluently when I'm working. I'm going for my internship pretty soon. I'm so excited and nervous in the same time. I have a lot of things to think about in my mind. What should i act? what should i do? Many things just pop up on my mind. :(

I'm so unpredictable. I don't know what I'm going to do when there is problem occur. I don't think before I do sometime. That's so wrong. I should think before I do. Learn from mistake is the biggest thing I need to know. Sometime I feel confuse about my life. Sometime i feel that I'm very useless. I only know how to talk but I don't do it. Many people talk about me, and I feel unconformable about it. I wanted to change and I try to change. It doesn't work :(

Is that hard for me to do so? Or I'm not willing to change the way I am now? or I didn't work hard to change? All this questions always pop up in my mind and I felt really tired about it. Once my internship start, I'm going to try my best to do my best not only for myself, for my parents, friends and others people who are in need :)

" Nothing is impossible, Unless you didn't try your best "

Quote for today :)
good night people. cheers <3

Holiday... weeeee :)

Holiday start since last week Friday! I'm so glad that I can go back to my hometown. It is so peaceful here even though it is hot here. :(

So i spend my time here with my family, we eat dinner together! long time never eat dinner together with family already! really miss the moment but I miss my grandpa the most. He is not here to dinner together with us but I bet he is happy with god up there. :)

I admit I wasted my dad a lot of money on shopping and others stuff due to the internship thingy. I need to buy casual formal clothes for work next month. :(
Now I need a digital camera badly :( Just pass my dad my DSLR, he want to use. ish...

This holiday very boring. Everyone busy finding their internship job and some of them even start working already. No vacation! I want to go Singapore and Australia so badly. Only been to Korea which I don't really like to visit there.

...............


Went flying Bistro with thatcher and symone just now. We online there and observe people. That what we do .. I know we are so busybody observing people. But we do ENJOY it <3

Thatcher with her drink call " lonely snowman " Suit her lols! ;p


Our salad garden.. yummy got egg really special.

Permanent

Totally love my friends a lot. They spend time with me no matter how far they stay. Really appreciate what they have done. haha :) today went sunway pyramid with koli and siem qing. What else we can do in sunway? SHOPPING LA xD! My favourite hobby! today we went sushi king for our lunch and then we start our journey to shop the whole sunway shoplet! ;P

I brought 1 t shirt and 3 masks. Actually today I plan not to buy anything but I can't resist it from seeing those beautiful clothes waving with me. :( So i buy! but not many!

Today david and wenszee got their internship with Ape Ideas company but I dint get :( But it okay, I got my internship already . Hopefully I can learn more about event during my internship period. Going to stay at my uncle house for 3 months and leave my subang house alone here lol.

I'm so freaking tired everyday include today! Whole day at outside. Non-stop outdoor activity this few days. After this week I won't have any time for fun. No more honeymoon for me. :( Going back hometown this friday to spend times with family since I can't go back hometown after i start my internship. What to do, work is important but family is also important for me.

No matter how far I should go, I will stay strong and move forward to achieve the thing I should achieve. Nothing is impossible unless I'm lazy and yeah I admit that I'm actually a quite lazy fellow. lols

Friends always come and go, but for me I won't leave my friends behind. This 3 months internship I'm going to miss my friends like crazy but not that crazy! lols... Rarely see them in that 3 months internship. Hopefully our relationship will stay the same :)

Loves <3 friends ;)

signing off,
shereen with love <3

Siem Qing and Koli my bestie <3


qing,me and koli

Happy and tired day

After final i felt so so so relax! No need to study whole day already. Went shopping with iko and fiona yesterday. spend around RM250 ... I'm satisfied with it.

Went for interview today at an events company called apes idea. Suddenly this guy working in that company come in and ask me and wen szee whether we free or not this Saturday and Sunday. We was like yeah free @@''. He asked us whether we want to work as promoter or not. So we stupid stupid go accept the offer. 1 day RM110 start working at 10am to 10pm. omg stand till leg also pain.

At last i get my internship job in a shopping complex at kepong! Going to stay at my uncle house. I'm so excited. I'm working at the events department for the shopping complex. Can't wait to work. Tomorrow going shopping with my bestie. going to enjoy my weekend! ;)

I'm so so so so freaking tired today. Went out whole day! Morning breakfast with koli&justin, afternoon went for interview, and night went steamboat with friends. Ate a lot just now. Having fun with friends there and of coz gossiping with each others! :P

Plan to sleep but not going to sleep that early. tomorrow go shopping again! but no more cash to spend!! =(

I need to be more confident on myself.

Where is my confident?? I can't see any confident on myself. I speak loud but actually there is no confident in me. I really feel useless.
My English is not good and i know it too. I tell myself a lot of time that I need to improve myself but why I'm still the same? I need improvement seriously but how?? When i speak English I surely will mess up the words that I use.
I must be more daring in doing something. Why do I always feel scare when doing something? Everyone need to learn, need to fall down, only they will know what they suppose to do in their life, no matter love, money, career. Everything need to learn. Like what my best friend told me, Everything need to learn before you know what to do.

So for now, I need to learn what to do, learn how to speak more English nicely. I don't want to let myself drop down until cannot stand up. I don't want to disgrace my parent. Don't want them to feel worry and sad about me anymore. I'm a big girl already . I should know what to do not asking people what should I do. This is what our life suppose to be.

From now onward, I will learn every step of my life again. I will be more confident on myself. I must believe that, when I failed, I will stand up and redo it over and over again until i passed.

Thanks to all the people that give me advice, teach me how to be better in life. I really do appreciate it. thanks.

Last paper for my exam! yuhoo...

Been suffering for 4 days plus today is 5 days of studying. Never had a good sleep and my face actually got few pimples coming out. ;( and somemore the pimple very big one.

But nevermind, after tomorrow i can have a good sleep! Today I actually apply an internship at a company called Ape Ideas. I sended my resume at 1.30pm and they call me at 3.30pm wow..dam fast right? I was sleeping that time. Luckily she is friendly :)

Going inteview next tuesday nearby kelana jaya which is quite near from my house. I'm so excited, exam going to finish soon and result going to come out after 1 week which make me nervous and scare to see my result especially CSC! :(
I don't want to fail my CSC don't want to do director and flash again. Its driving me really crazy!

Actually i'm study journalism half way, suddenly feel like posting something in my blog so i posted here. Plus my stupid connection which is P1 WIMAX, can go die now already. Dam farking sarks. whole day I can't connect to the internet. the light on the modem keep blinking and now I'm using INTI connection which is dam slow also but better than nothing right!

okay back to study now. Holiday I'm coming! ;)


tomorrow going to take my last paper which is journalism! Then say hello to HOLIDAY! yuhoo! ;)

Final is around the corner

Final is coming really soon.. two more days to study for final . . PR have a lot of thing to study about. Argh.. My head going to burst soon. I really need motivation to study! I have no motivation to study for final because while study I will be thinking about my internship! Which make me really really headache!

I haven't found a job for my internship. I'm so dead. My others friend get their job for internship already and I haven't get any of it. I apply for more than 10 company but they don't even bother to reply me =(

I need a job for internship!! And i need MOTIVATION to study for final =(!
And i miss my family a lot <3 wanted to go back hometown after final but i can't i need to find job for my internship. really make me headache.

Anyway, going to continue my study now.

Feeling sick

Today i feel so sick due to marketing assignment and also case study. Plus internship problem haven't settle yet. All the company that I request haven't even reply me or maybe they don't want to hire me..

I really feel sick. Don't know what I'm thinking right now. My brain is empty. The thing I do right now is looking at the white wall. Tomorrow will be having a presentation for Marketing. Everyone need to wear formal no matter you're presenting on that day. Kinda weird but yeah, not fair to them who present on that day wear formal. So no choice but wear formal to college.

Ate a lot this morning, Dim sum, mushroom soup, famous Amos cookies. stress makes me eat a lot. Final exam is around the corner and I haven't even start to study for final. Plus for tv production 20 minutes movie we still haven't shoot yet. Passing up next week. headache sia. This semester really hectic. I thought it will be easy but actually is hard compare to last semester. I'm so SICK!! My eye very pain right now!!

19th bday (27th July 2009)

Special thanks to all my friend who gave me surprise on my birthday. I really do appreciate it. :)

Lately my connection is not that stable that why today i decide to post my bday celebrate here as my connection is getting better today. On my bday, i thought nobody celebrate bday with me, mana tau, my classmate give me a surprise when I'm eating at face to face. I'm shocked and stun for a while.

Before my bday which was 26July went out with koli, wensze, wensze bf and justin. Went Friday with koli. My very first there because I never been there. lol weird right? Some say the food at friday is very nice but i think the food there was normal. After half way eating my dinner there, wensze come over and join. She was sick on that day, but still she came just to wish me happy early bday! thanks :)

After the dinner, we planned to go for "yamcha" at circle cafe where there will be people singing and playing guitar. Justin joined us but wen szee went back due to some problem. So we order our drinks. And this justin actually asked the people who sing at the cafe to sing me a birthday song! and i was totally shocked and my face turn red! But i really happy on that day!! And I have learned something, I know my attitude is very very bad. On my birthday, one of my friend told me that she really can't stand it anymore with my bad attitude. And i know, it hard for a person to change their attitude because it already a part for them.

I really need a change, and I'm doing it right this time. I don't want to repeat the thing that I have done on the past.. okay okay stop the emotion part. Here are some picture taken on that day and before the day.

Me in Friday


Me and koli :)


My dinner *slurrp*


Koli,me and Justin outside sunway pyramid



Surprise from classmate. Wishing something there :)


Sharmaine and me